Sunday, October 5, 2014

It's Not Your Fault

Recently someone brought my personal experiences into my professional life and implied something that has since been bothering me. Here are my thoughts on whether or not his journey has been "my fault"... 

Whenever someone finds out about our journey, their first response is usually wanting to offer advice to us. 

Their intentions are true and we know they are only trying to help, but one comment in particular cuts pretty deep.

One of the most common pieces of advice we receive is to “not stress” or to just “let it happen”. 

This comment makes my heart sink. 

Yes, this journey is anything but stress-free. We’ve experienced the excitement of a pregnancy without the stress of anticipating a miscarriage and we have taken time off of “trying” to let it happen. 

But infertility is a health condition that we have no control over. Only God knows the plans for growing our family and how everything will work out. 

So as much as we would love it to be as easy as “just letting it happen”, it isn’t so simple. And when someone advises us to try not to stress- it hurts knowing they think I am doing something wrong. That I am causing this inability of us to carry a child. 

Of course every woman fears that they could be doing something wrong. Did I workout too hard? Did I eat something wrong? Did I not rest enough? This list goes on and on! But this is never the case, and neither I nor my husband feel that I did something wrong to cause my miscarriages.

For those of you who struggle with infertility- understand that it isn’t your fault. That there is nothing you are doing wrong. Place your trust in God’s hands, as He already knows the plans He has for you.

And for those who are just trying to help, please know that this journey we are on is experienced much deeper than we let show. Simply offering your comfort and prayers is all we could ask for.